"He who knows the world to be bounded by a truth that contradicts it;
he who knows himself to be bounded by a will that contradicts him;
he who, knowing too well that he must be satisfied to live with this contradiction and not
attempt to escape from it, finds it hard to kick against the pricks;
he who finally makes open confession of the contradiction
and determines to base his life upon it;
He it is that believes."
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God and His Kingdom are our great contradictions. No wonder so many times we feel not at home as we reside in this world. No wonder the call to live out the Christian life seems so difficult and monumental. It is because God and his Kingdom stand in such stark contrast to how we think and operate. In living a contradictory life in comparison to this world and our surrounding cultures is where we have the opportunity to find freedom. However, at least for me personally, I get very weary at times trying to live this way. It is much easier to live on the earthly plane than to live as called to a higher one.
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Can we be satisfied with contradiction? Can we be satisfied and actually find rest in God...the one who contradicts our ways of thinking, behaving, and interacting...who contradicts our understanding, our systems, and our solutions? The one who guides us in the way of peace instead of war, love instead of hate, simplicity instead of abundance, quietness instead of flattery? It's amazing how much we find meaning in the first of those comparisons, and such discomfort in the latter. However, it is exactly in those ways that are so contrary to our 'programming' that we find life and begin to understand God.
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Part of me...the good part...certainly wants to base my life living out the contradictions of the Kingdom. But frankly, I'm scared. It takes more than what I've got to offer. The cost is most likely greater than I imagine. I hope I am able to find peace and rest in living out the contradictions of the Kingdom...I hope I'll be strengthened by it. Like Paul says, "Pressed down but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned, etc."
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Here's to living out the contradictions...
