Parched

Last week was decent, but it seemed to be laced with times of spiritual dryness and apathy. My reaction toward these times was less than stellar. I didn't view them as a chance to press on, but a chance to soak in the doldrums of seeming spiritual emptiness. At times I even thought to myself, "now is a time to take a break from all this spiritual stuff."

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It's pretty amazing, isn't it, that the times when we need to press into those things that bring us to God we retreat from because we feel too weak, too empty, to inept? It's the first and easiest thing to do. Much harder is to press through the desert to get to the spring.

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Toward the end of the week I began reflecting on this seeming emptiness, and I began seeing it as an opportunity to draw more into God rather than retreat since He was apparently just not 'showing up.' Adversely, it was probably me who wasn't showing up. One of our bishops not too long ago used the phrase 'pressing into our humanity', and I think this was one of those times for me. To me it meant that I bring this sense of humanity...this spiritual ache...this seeming emptiness...to God. Instead of retreating from all the things I would normally do as part of a 'devoted' life I might have instead pressed into the deeper disciplines of the spiritual life in order to lean more into God, facing the present feelings of emptiness and inadequacy.

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Pursue, not retreat. Greater intensity, not throwing in the towel. These are the next roads to take when I face this kind of dryness.

I Miss Stuff When I'm Efficient

Currently reading Al Hsu's book, The Suburban Christian. Ran across a great thought that really challenged my life. He was talking about efficiency being something of a modern day invention. I'm all about being efficient...multi-tasking and the like. However, I'm not sure it's always a healthy thing to do, or even something positive to strive for, because in the striving for efficiency you miss out.

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When you think about being efficient, you think about what has to be done. It's not only the thought process of thinking how one thing has to be done, but then how the next thing must be completed after that. It's a cycle. So you accomplish one task only to lead you to another, and another, and so on. What this instills is a rat in the wheel type mentality...that we're all running to accomplish the next thing.

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I don't know how many times I see this in relationships and conversations. In our culture ending a conversation is a weird experience. I see and experience this especially on Sundays in our church setting. It's like you bounce around like a ping pong ball talking to a whole lot of different people without really talking to them. And then somehow, the conversation just ends and you get interrupted or move onto the next person. The thought, or expectation rather, is to talk to as many people as you can. You feel obligated to do so, and you feel like you've failed if you missed some folks.

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If we look to the example of Jesus, we see someone who was very efficient, but very present at the same time. Jesus was intentional in his conversations with people, but he never seemed to be in a hurry. What I believe we miss when we move on from one thing to the next or let our schedule determine our lives is the opportunity for spontaneous relationships, interaction, and conversation. In Muslim culture, you may have an appointment with someone, but then a friend comes over and the appointment is missed completely. However, for them, the most honorable thing to do is not keep the appointment, but to be with the friend.

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All of our lives are busy, but I do believe there is an opportunity for us to enjoy life even in the midst of busyness. I think part of it is being able to live in each moment with joy, seeing and enjoying where God is revealing Himself to us. So sit a little longer before moving on. Don't rush to the next conversation. Slow down a bit today. Experience life in a more inefficient way and see what happens.

Clean Conscience

The following is a quote from Brother Lawrence from the book, The Practice of the Presence of God. What is helpful in what he writes is how he moves on from his failure, and how he acknowledges the Lord in all things that go well.

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I believe the former - moving on from failure - is a major challenge of the Christian disciple of Jesus. We have issues forgiving ourselves for the small and big failures of our lives. Granted, our sin has consequences we have to live with, and sometimes they have a big impact on our relationships with others. However, I think one of the biggest challenges followers of Jesus face is how to deal with the things few people (if any) know about. How do we handle our failure? How do we accept the grace of God and move on?

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The following excerpt from his book I find very helpful (and it's a good little read if you've never heard of it nor read it yet).

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When he (Brother Lawrence) had finished, he examined how he had discharged

his duty; if he found well, he returned thanks to God;

if otherwise, he asked pardon, and, without being discouraged, He set

his mind right again, and continued his exercise of the Presence of God

as if he had never deviated from it.

Why things aren't the same

Two days ago I experienced Thanksgiving that I thought would be reminiscent of my childhood. For the first time in many years I would be with my dad, sister, grandparents, and great-aunt. It isn't everybody that would've been at a family holiday growing up, but it was the closest thing in years...but it wasn't quite as I remember it in childhood.

What I found is that things have changed...not because of anyone in particular...but because life itself has changed. I now have 3 kids which don't allow for hours and hours of card playing and competition (we were a bunch of card gaming junkies!). Much of the time was spent in some conversation, but mostly interacting with my kids.

The next day was spent at my mom's. After having 'Thanksgiving breakfast' (and it was good) we spent most of the rest of the day...playing with the kids. What made my memories growing up so special was that the older adults spent time with me. It seems weird to me now that we don't spend as much time (as adults) just playing games with each other...but I realized how much fun it was...for everyone...to just hang out with the little ones.

With the stages of life changing my expectations must adjust as well. It just seems strange that my grandfather (now 86) can't shoot baskets anymore like when I was a kid (and he was in his 60's). Childhood does something mysterious in all of us. For those who have grown past it childhood points to a time gone past. For those experiencing it they are pushed by culture to move by it. I believe it is a high calling to help our kids enjoy being kids. It reminds us of how simple life CAN be...and perhaps should be. Far too often we make it complex, and let's face it, we know how to sap the fun out of everything by taking it too serious. But not kids. They remind us of the innocense of life.

The next time you're with your kids...or someone else's...don't get frustrated for how un-adult they are. Rejoice in how un-adult they make you feel. Children breed hope for the future and rekindle the simple joy of life.

For these things I give thanks...

...for children who demonstrate childlike enjoyment of little things
...for a wife who is unconditional in her love and unwaivering in her support
...for a community of faith that does their best to live like Jesus
...for a modest home filled with memories of my family
...for parents who did their best to raise me in following Jesus
...for health and the ability to enjoy small things...walks...laughter...and the taste of good
food
...for provision of those things we need, and the priviledge to live without excess
...for friends in the journey of faith who struggle with me in the unknown of it all
...for joy
...for healing
...for change of heart and character and a God whose changes with gentleness and
compassion...thank you that your kindness leads to repentance
...for the opportunity to love and serve others and to learn from their life circumstance
...for Father
...for Son
...for Holy Spirit

To anyone reading, have a blessed day of Thanksgiving. I join you in thanking the Maker of it all!

GodSoaked World

Are you ever really satisfied with your faith? Is it ever enough or are you left wanting for more? I'm not satisfied, and yes...I'm left wanting for more. Every bit God reveals of himself leaves me in want for more. I don't want to stay where I am. The pieces of revelation I'm graced with are not enough. I want more of God.

Many of us feel inadequate in our faith in Jesus and we're left to saying "I should really pray more" or "I should really read the Bible" or whatever...and those are good things. But the fact of the matter is that God is constantly around us, ready to be observed in every great and every small thing. Laughter is a grace of God and exemplifies His presence. Love is the same. The relationship you have with your husband or wife is a blessing of God and on it his Presence rests. People possess divine attributes. Nature in all its beauty cries out the glory of God. The fact is that God is rarely if ever absent, but we are the ones who are so.

So raise your awareness of the presence of God. Let your thirst grow. As you experience and witness the greatness of Him let it cause you to look for more. Wherever you are reading this right now...look around...where's God? How do you see Him, hear Him, and witness Him? As the psalmist says, "Where can I flee from your presence?"

Retreat: Kingdom and Rest

The Divine Center: where we focus all our faculties around Christ. That's no one's definition but my own, and I don't like it that much, but it's a way to start this out.

I'm retreating tomorrow. Going up to our family cabin for a day of silence. I'm not boasting. I'm excited. Keeping up with the pace of life is absolutely exhausting, and every good effort to work for the Kingdom seems to be just that: work. There are times when everyone needs to get away, to refocus, and to quiet themselves in acts of submission and surrender to God. I don't know who said it, but someone made the observation it takes more than 24 hours of silence to stop thinking about other things...to somehow just be.

Quality numero uno of our suburbanite lives: Busyness. It's a killer. Run the kids here and there, fix meals, clean the house, mow the lawn, get the groceries, watch the favorite sports teams, maybe have a good conversation here or there, and then catch a few hours of rest in order to do the whole thing over again. Crap...I forgot work!!!

One of the healthiest things we can do for ourselves is find time away with God. For all you parents I know it's hard. I'm there. But my wife tells me a few moments of solitude goes a long way. I know it's time for me when I start getting wrapped up in the ideals of this kingdom and the convictions toward the Kingdom seem somewhat distant.

Jesus retreated. He went to lonely places. He went there to be with God. Many times he did it after a busy day. Here's a simple challenge for anyone reading: after you tuck the kids into bed, instead of turning on the tube to 'relax'... spend some time in silence or talk with your spouse or read some scripture or read a book that encourages your faith. As you rest for the night may you take upon yourself the words of the Psalmist in Ps. 3: I lie down and sleep in peace for You, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."

Happy resting...

Theology of a 4 Year Old

Cool little story from yesterday...

I was sitting with my son talking about God and how God lives in us through the Holy Spirit (yea, I know...deep for a 4 year old!).

Conner: "So I'm his house?".

Me: Yea, something like that.

Conner: Well, He sure has a lot of room to run around...

Profound little thought from my 4 year old son. I heard something last week that struck me in thinking about how to share faith with children. It was the thought that we should share the faith in a way that is comprehensible to them, and as they grow and mature, what we share should grow and mature as well.

So we have to look at our kids in the stage where they are. For my newborn, sharing faith with him is praying over him and singing to him. For my two year old it is reading Bible stories, praying with her, and singing songs. With my four year old it is answering questions about Jesus and the Bible for an hour and a half long car ride home.

I'm very convicted we need to be very intentional about sharing the Christian faith with our children. I love hearing stories of young people who have a deep heritage of faith in their family. They didn't have to go off and do the things most people do before they find Christ. Within their deep heritage they grow in faith until one day their crisis experience isn't deliverance from drugs or alcohol but a crisis experience in making the faith they grew up with their own.

Not sure where it is, but it makes the thought of "God's faithfulness to a thousand generations to those who are faithful" all the more real.

Bewilderment to Worth

Ever been frustrated when you know you are right but somebody doesn't think so? Ever been dissappointed when you feel your ideas aren't received from someone, but then that someone receives the same idea from someone else and thinks it's great? These are only a few examples, but there seems to be a need for us to feel justified...to be proven right. It's normally not enough just for us to know that in our our minds, but we need it to be validated.

I've experienced this a few times over the past several weeks, and it's starting to get my attention. I feel I've been wronged in some circumstances. Perhaps in some ways I've wronged others. Other times I think the way I would do things would be better. At the moment I am hurt or passed over, but within the course of the day or days there are little things that come to me letting me know I was right. There's a big part of me that wants to go to the ones who've hurt me, the one's who've overlooked me and say, "See, I was right"...or something to that effect. There seems to be a need in me...and I think in all of us...not only to be right but to be proved right.

I think there is a lesson to be learned here. Justification happens before God, not people. Our attempts to justify ourselves before others neglect God's justice and the need for forgiveness.

In speaking of God's justice: Instead of feeling the need to prove ourselves right we accept that in God's sight we are right. We no longer need to hunt the person down or prove ourselves, be we take comfort and delight in the fact the God of the universe approves of us.

In speaking of forgiveness: Something amazing occurs when you care more about the approval of God then of your peers. This whole subject goes straight to the trivial things of life. People say things that are taken the wrong way. Some people say hurtful things they weren't aware of as hurtful. Sometimes things happen with the best intentions but still hurt others. We're human and we have great propensity to hurt others. However, we also have a great power to forgive. Forgivness cares about God's opinion and it acknowledges the humanity of the hurting party. The seeds of bitterness are disposed of because we are seen as right in the eyes of God.

Ministry demands those involved to look to God for their justification, worth, and rightness. I'm not sure if there's any other arena where one's heart is put on the line so consistently with the possibility of it being continually crushed. But the crushing happens, and as we love those who crush us we are able to forgive and allow our heads to be lifted from bewilderment to worth.

Reflections

I did something for the first time this morning I hope to make into somewhat of a routine...I got my tail out of bed at 5:30 a.m. (just because I couldn't take the trash out the night before because of a massive lightening storm) and after taking the trash out sat down and had a time of study. That isn't even the best part. For one reason I was motivated this morning, so I took my bike and rode along the Susquehanna River.



My ride took me to a local park along the river so I parked and enjoyed the view. Then I had the thought, 'why not ride down to the river's edge'...so I did. It was majestic. It was like God's finger drew a line where the river lies. My attention was drawn to the reflections in the river. I noticed the smaller mountain ranges closer to me had a smaller reflection in the water while the larger ranges in the distance made a much greater reflection in the water.

Reflection got me thinking about...reflection.


Why is it that so often we look at the big things far off and reflect greatly on what could be while we look at the smaller ranges right in front of us, our everyday occurances, with little contemplation? Why is so much time spent pondering the future and not the present?


One reason, I believe, is that the future presupposes the issues of today are no more, whatever they may be. The future is hopeful because it is not the reality of now. I cannot say I look to the day or week and what is now with as much thought as to the future and what may come. I find myself longing for what I don't have and neglecting what I do. I put my mental energies into what isn't a reality and leave what is reality to receive my leftover attention...my leftover hope.


So what happens if we reverse it, if we do what James says in his book and we don't make future plans but we live in our current reality? What happens when we bring our hope to the reality of now and not the fiction of what may be future? I think we're changed. I think the people around us are changed. I think there's a new energy that's put forth into the present because we're not so consumed by the future. I'm experiencing it as I live today with intention and purpose...placing my energies to what is while leaving tomorrow on the shelf. We'll pick that one up later...